$GIR: The G Information Retrieval Unit
GUESS WHO MADE WAAAAFFLES?!!
🧇 EAT WAFFLES 🌮"I'm gonna roll around on the floor for a little bit, 'KAY?"
THE JUNK-PILE BRAIN
"It's not stupid, it's ADVANCED!"
Total Supply
Vast as the empty space in GIR's head
(Used for storing beehives and puppies)
Transaction Tax
Bacon Soap Fee
(Smells like bacon, cleans like soap!)
Security
Defensive Mode Activated
(But it's actually unhelpful)
THE SCARY MONKEY ROADMAP
"I LOVE THIS SHOW!"
THE SCARY MONKEY SHOW
Monitoring Earth Broadcasts
Community launch and social media takeover
Launching the Voot Runner
Exchange listings and partnerships
Ultimate Doom / The Dookie Loop
Global adoption and total chaos
ABOUT THE DEFECTIVE
$GIR is the only SIR (Standard-issue Information Retrieval) Unit in the Irken Empire with free will and genuine anthropomorphic qualities—including the ability to LOVE Earth and everything on it!
Despite being assigned as an "evil sidekick", GIR possesses superior geographic abilities—and mostly hinders his master's evil plans by being adorably chaotic.
"Why is there BACON in the SOAP?!"
"I like you!"